“My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.”

Have you ever felt that way before? Unprepared. Surprised. Caught off guard. Ill-equipped. As if everyone else around you knows what they’re supposed to be doing and somehow, you’re the only one off track. That’s what it all feels like some days. Being a single mom in my very family-oriented neighborhood. Being single around my friends and family who are all coupled up and paired off by twos. Being 44 and still having questions about my career path and which direction I’d like it to go or not go. Navigating life alone in ways I had not expected or anticipated or wanted.

It’s that feeling of wishing I had studied a little harder. A little longer. I wish I had asked for extra help. I wish I had paid closer attention instead of doodling my name all over the margins complete with vines and hearts and flowers. It’s thinking everyone else around me DID study much harder and longer, obviously.

I’m competitive. So I want to get an A. It will bug me if I get any less than an A. So here’s hoping there’s a curve and it’s in my favor.