The Quick and Easy Code to Staying Connected

If this past year has taught me anything, it’s about the value of connection and what it means in my life. Not just to me, but also to the people who depend on me and our mutual connection: My kids, my parents, closest friends, co-worker besties, my tribe. Connection can mean the difference between going it alone and feeling lonely, and going it alone knowing you’re still held and surrounded by love and support.

But connection takes energy, and this past year especially, energy has been at a premium. We only have so much of it to go around and the sources that draw from it are never-ending. Working from home, homeschooling (or doing both at once!), health concerns and crises, parenting without any of the usual breaks we’re accustomed to. Family issues. Relationship issues. The well runs dry quickly and leaves little energy left for feeling truly connected, even when we need it most.

A few years back, a friend of mine and I developed a little code to keep our connection strong when energy was low, or time was tight, or when we simply didn’t have any words left. It’s super quick and easy and you’ll be surprised at just how powerful it can be.

Three little dots.

That’s it.

One person texts it … and the other person responds with it …

It can mean whatever you want it to:

I love you

I need you

I feel alone and need to know we’re connected

I’m thinking about you

I’m feeling happy today and I hope you are, too

You matter to me

I’m with you

Are we okay?

You’re not alone

I’m here

Sounds super easy, right? It is. Sounds a little weird? Maybe. But when you start agreeing to use it with people you care about, I promise it will strengthen your connection and give you all the feel good endorphins your heart and mind really want but sometimes can’t ask for.


There’s another time this code is especially helpful—When someone you care about is struggling with something really hard or painful. There’s only so many times you can ask how a person is doing until it becomes exhausting and frustrating for both of you, especially when the answer remains the same, day after day. Try using the code with them. Once a day, maybe several times a day or a few times a week- whatever feels right.

Feeling connected and less alone. It’s the answer to so much of our anxiety in this world. It might not solve anything, but it adds a tenderness that can be hard to come by in the busyness of life. And while I don’t want to short change any of my relationships or reduce every conversation to three little dots, sometimes they say more than I ever could’ve myself.

~If you try this, let me know what you think and if it works for you!

And if you have my number, hit me up …

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