Like a Boss

monday_like_a_boss-381607-1So I have a confession to make to all of you beautiful people: Last week when I posted Monday is for Lovers, I was sitting in bed in a 1900 Tequila T-shirt with a cold cup of coffee and a sick child who didn’t want to go to school. I may or may not have cried a few tears as I was falling asleep the night before. I did NOT wake up happy, ready to take Monday as my lover. At 6 AM I had already told Monday to suck it. The misery brain train had left the station: ‘This bad morning will be a bad day leading to a bad week. Everything sucks. I hate my life.’  I know. I KNOW. It escalates quickly, doesn’t it? Because honestly, NONE of that is true.  And that’s when I realized I needed to take the reins and boss myself around a little. It was MONDAY, for God’s sake. You know, Monday? Mondays are like a mini New Year’s Day– there’s no place for bad juju! You’ve gotta be a Rock star on Mondays because you’re setting the tone for the rest of the week! You’ve gotta jumpstart the day with energy and good faith and at least PRETEND that amazing things are about to happen. So in that very pathetic moment at 6:24 AM, I knew there was a choice to make. That’s when I opened up my journal app and started to write. I literally said out loud, ” Aahhh, Monday, I’m about to treat you like a lover…” And the rest just followed. I smiled the entire time I was writing, reminding myself with every word that this felt SO much better than cursing the day. So much better than dreading the day. SO much better than choosing to start the week on a low note. I made a decision to choose happy– and the good feelings followed.

I’m not talking about being Suzy Sunshine and Pollyanna and denying the crappy circumstances of the day. Listen kids–I’m SO over and done with pretending that things are okay when they’re not okay. It’s about seeing the crap and deciding to choose happy ANYWAY. It’s about recognizing the choice. You can consciously choose happy as easily as you can choose misery. You’re the boss of your life. You can make it go down however you want. In the midst of that very typical Monday, I sort of kept waiting and hoping for something spectacular to happen since I had worked up such a good vibe.  But the actual beauty of it was that in the normality of work, errands, dentist appointments and our regular routine, I felt happy– and so my kids felt happy. I set the tone for my kids and when I’m okay, they’re okay. When I’m okay, they feel safe. When I’m okay, they feel secure. And for kids–those two things equate to happiness. So it’s really REALLY important for me to be okay. So that very normal Monday WAS amazing. When I made a choice to be happy, we all felt good about life– and that’s a brain train I want to keep riding.

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Happy Valentine’s Day to Me

c35c4cf30946a35730c72186c17dda09Let me start by saying right away that this is not an endorsement for the single life. Or divorce. I’m not a “Love Stinks” kinda girl. So relax. I’ll talk about all of that another day. But not today.

Today is about love.

And for the first time in about 13 years or so, I’ve decided that today is about me. I am alone. Alone, as in, I don’t have a Valentine. I’m not part of a couple. And please, my Evangelical friends, please don’t say Jesus is my Valentine. Or husband. Or any of those other well-meaning but weird things that get tossed around.  I have some friends in my circle who hate this holiday. And depending on what your normal V-Day experience usually is, I totally get why any man OR woman WOULD hate it– but honestly, as I was thinking about its impending arrival this year, I’m happy to say, I feel fine. I feel better than fine. I feel good. I feel happy. I feel peaceful. Because the truth is, I think I’ve found the one. And it’s me.

I think I’m the one. And so far, it’s really working out.

Having been both widowed and divorced within the past 15 years…let’s just say there aren’t a lot of Hallmark cards that fit. And somewhere along the way, within these difficult years of survival, I lost myself. I became perhaps overly engrossed in my roles of perfect mother and perfect wife (so I thought) and lost my identity. I take responsibility for this. Nobody DID this to me but me, and nobody is responsible for changing this but me. And that’s exactly what I’m doing now. I’m creating and designing a life that I love. And along the way, I have fallen in love with myself again and the things I love to do. Things I forgot about. Things that feed my soul and spark my brain and light my fire. I’m dating myself.  And honestly? I am amazing company. I’m smart. I’m interesting. I’m fun. Sometimes we read, we run, we shop. We work on projects around the house. We lunch. We go to dinner. We have a beer. We catch a movie. That’s right. Just me and myself.

And instead of feeling lonely, I feel alive.

There’s so much love in my life that has nothing to do with being part of a couple. Today and every day is about loving my  kids, my parents and the other friends and family I’m surrounded by. In spite of my experiences, I’m still totally a love kinda girl– I got cards. I got flowers. I got chocolate (including some ah-mazing chocolate covered bacon. Swoon.) I feel totally spoiled–not by lovers–just people who love me. And there are a lot. And that doesn’t just make for a Happy Valentine’s Day-that makes for a happy life. And the best part of the love I have in my life now is that it’s constant. It’s not just about a feel-good (or crappy) holiday. The Valentines in my life loved me yesterday and they will love me tomorrow and today just happens to be another day that we spoil each other.

Look around your life today and see all the love. It’s not a loveless day just because you’re not part of a couple.  Look in the mirror and admire yourself. Rediscover yourself. Whether you love this day or hate it, I bet you actually don’t have to look that far to find love.  I’m looking in the mirror today –and I’m completely smitten.

How do YOU feel about Valentine’s Day, love bugs?